Good Morning

Saturday was a very good day here at home. The wife was gone to the Dave Ramsey seminar, so it was just me and the boys for the day. We started out with a trip to Blockbuster for a new game. Then it was onto Hunter Brothers for lunch. Hunter Brothers is a deli in the area I live in. Then it was off to find new tennis shoes for the boys and myself. Trevor got a pair of K-Swiss, while Zack and I got the exact same New Balance shoes (different sizes though). Then to the mall and to look at some new shorts and shirts for the boys. Found a couple of nice pairs of shorts at Old Navy for the boys and then 4 nice pairs at Sears that were half the price of Old Navy. Guess I should have looked at Sears first. Next up was Sams Club where we spent over $150 on groceries. Got some big fat steaks to cook on the grill and the day was complete. This first paragraph was written while listening to Justin Timberlake's Cry me a River. I really like that song even though I'm a 40 year old father of 2. Next up though is Korn with Got the Life. I gotta mix it up a little bit.

While flipping channels this morning I ran across a great movie called Executive Decision. You know I just want my government to know that I am ready for some excitement in my life, go ahead and ask me for a secret mission. I don't care what it is or where I have to go. I figure if Kurt Russell or Steven Seagal can do it, why not me? What foreign country would expect a fat 40-year old father of 2 boys to be of any concern of their's? Are you listening CIA or FBI or any of those secret organization that we have never heard of. Maybe I could even be one of those Men In Black! I'm ready for my assignment, --- you guys know how to get in touch with me.

I was watching Behind the Lines on ESPN this morning and the had a fascinating story about Bobby Fischer. Maybe the U.S. could send me to Iceland to investigate further for them. He really does come off as an IDIOT in the ESPN story about him. It tells how Dick Schapp befriended him while he was only 12 years old and then how Fischer really turned into a strange and delusional personality. Definitely a personality.

Better go now, Cry me a River is coming back up on my play list.

Friday Afternoon

The boss lady has gone and the big boss lady has gone. As a matter of fact, I don't know if I ever saw the big boss lady today. Neither of us go out of our way to speak to the other.

I just lowered my chair, so I could get more comfortable at the desk, because I am in charge right now so I will be doing all the work that the boss ladies usually do. Not a damn thing. I could surf for hotel savings across the southeast like one does or I could just act better than everyone else like the other one does. Dammit, I just feel so SUPERIOR right now. I feel so much in charge that I may even leave early. Have ya ever noticed that all the management people seem to leave early on Fridays?

Better go now and do a little surfing until somebody calls and I have to WORK!

A Few Hours

Last evening I enjoyed a school band concert at Gresham Middle School. Of course, the only reason I was there was because Trevor plays the trumpet in the band. He told me he was going to play it next year in the 8th grade, but he wasn't going to play when he got to high school. He said there would be too many other things to do in high school instead of band. If he is anything like his dad, those other things would be trying to find a store to sell you beer and cruising up and down the street checking out the girls. I went to high school at a very small town in Southeast Virginia, so that's really all we had to do. We would cruise up and down the street all night, or occasionally me and the guys would hang out on a corner. It's easier to yell at the girls and get a better look at them while you are standing still.

Anyway, after the concert, we grabbed a quick bite at Sonic. They have a great chicken wrap, but it cost too much. The two they have on the menu are both $3.19 which is a little high for such a small piece of food. Now a word about my lunch today. I had an Angus burger from Burger King for lunch. It seems every restaurant that sells hamburgers, now has an Angus burger on their menus. The BK Angus was a thicker version of their whopper with some barbecue sauce on a fancy bun. Nothing special, so we won't waste anymore of our time on it, I know that I will not be ordering it again.

Now Hardee's has a bunch of great Angus burgers. If we could get the good Angus burgers together with the good fries, I would have a favorite place to get a burger. The best fries are at the places that have the crummy burgers.

I better go now, just writing about this stuff gets me hungry, I wonder if any of the offices have any cookies or anything, you know, --- free stuff!

NFL Draft

I am so looking forward to the NFL draft that is coming up on April 23rd and 24th. The draft will start at noon and will go late into the evening and then pick up the next morning. The one complaint I have is that 15 minutes in the first round is too much time. It takes most of the afternoon to just get by the first round. When I watch on Sunday though, it is hard to keep up with the picks going by so fast and all of the announcers are talking about the first couple of rounds.

It's always interesting to see where the UT players go and even if they get drafted. It looks like this year that linebacker Kevin Burnett will be the first Vol to get picked. It is very strange for any team to draft a punter in the draft, they usually pick one up through free agency after the draft, but this year UT has a great punter who all the experts are expecting to be drafted. I have seen Dustin Colquitt going anywhere from the 4th round and on down. I am almost sure that some team will draft him and if they don't he may be able to get some more money by getting teams to bid on him as a free agent. Micheal Munoz will be drafted but there are a lot of questions about his durability and overall health. He is a good offensive lineman but no where close to what his father and Hall of Famer Anthony Munoz was.

I get excited just thinking about the draft. The wife and kids know that draft day at my house is just like the NCAA basketball tourney, -- they will not be able to get me out from in front of the TV all day.

Racism

I'm wondering about the most recent comment by Jermaine O'Neal of the NBA, saying that imposing a 20-year old age limit on people entering the NBA is racist. I can see both sides of the argument. I cannot name you one Caucasian who has skipped college and went straight to the NBA from high school, so maybe Jermaine has a point there. I would also like to believe that the powers that be at the NBA offices did not even think of race when pondering this rule change. I really don't see where it will have that much of an impact on a truly gifted basketball player. So maybe a young man will have to wait until 2 years after high school to make millions, SO WHAT? I have been around 40 years and probably haven't made a total of a million dollars. I don't think Jermaine understands how things are in the real world. You see, Jermaine came right out of high school to the NBA back in 1996.

When I finished high school my parents were paying for my college, I never knew about student loans. I had heard of student loans but I thought they were for the extremely poor. I would like to thank my high school guidance counselors for that little mistake. After going to college for 2 years, I figured there was no reason for my parents to have to keep paying for a degree that I was NOT going to be able to get in 4 years. Now I understand that anyone can go to college -- IF they have the Grades, and sometimes even if you don't have the grades, especially if you are an athlete or a minority. Anyone can get a federal student loan too. Oh if only I knew then what I know now, or something like that.

Dear Jermaine,

When I got out of high school, I went to college and worked part-time making minimum wage (at the time it was $3.35), after about a year and a half of that, I decided that I and my family needed the money more than the schooling. Anyway, by this time I was making $4.00 an hour. A couple of years after that I found a job that had health insurance, paid holidays and vacations. A few years after that I was able to start a family, oh by the way, I was now working at a factory. A factory where it was unbearably hot in the summer and extremely cold in the winter. It was basically a factory with a leaky roof and paper-thin walls. I worked along side 100 other American Dreamers, who thought we were living the American Dream. We were all making at least $10.00 an hour with paid insurance and a few other benefits. It didn't matter that some of the people I worked along side couldn't read or write, we had cash in our pockets. I have worked with people of all races and I have worked with racists. I do not believe in my heart that it is racially motivated to set an age limit on a job. That is actually all the NBA is to the players, -- a job. I truly feel that it would help young men to mature a little before having to go to work. Waiting until you are 20 years old to start making over a million dollars a year is a very, very small price to pay, no matter what color you are.

Thank you for your time,
Benny Hill

Monday 4-11-05

It's Monday and I don't really have anything to say, but ----- the boss lady and the big boss lady are huddled up in an office, probably plotting my demise. I hate it when they go into one of their offices and shut the door. I guess I'm just being paranoid, but I always think they are talking about me. But like the wife told me one time, everything doesn't have to be about you, at least I hope not. The boss lady wasn't even suppose to be here today, but showed up around 1 pm. She is sooo devoted, now if it was me, I wouldn't have even thought about it.

Zack has an appointment with his allergist right now. Zack is allergic to dogs,cats,mold, and grass. He was tested around 6 or 7 years ago, so I think he has grown out of some of the allergies. I don't really think he is still allergic to dogs or it would probably make him sick to sleep with Spankie every night. Zack's main problem with allergies seems to be cats. If we go to someone's house that have cats, Zack will start having breathing problems and cannot stop sneezing. OK, enough about allergies.

I need to try and stay busy looking for another half hour. If no one calls with a computer problem, the only thing I have left to do today is setup the automatic timer on the coffee pot for tomorrow.

I had a new lunch experience today, Ashby took me to a place called Chandler's Deli. It was a truly great lunch. I had steak and gravy with broccoli casserole and fried okra. I had a huge piece of cornbread that was a little dry. The broccoli was some of the finest I have ever had. The okra was the usual pre-breaded, frozen stuff you get everywhere, until summer rolls around. Ashby had a humongeous pulled pork samich that I quickly tried a bite of when offered. I told him repeatedly that we will return.

I just got one of the emails that seems to find it's way around the net every 6 months or so. It's the one where they warn you not to open the life is beautiful powerpoint presentation. I started to reply to the email and let everyone know it is a hoax, but it's not worth the time, I'll just go on letting people think that they have warned me of a truly castastropic event. I hope I spelled that word before event right, it didn't show up on the spell checker. Well I better go get the coffee pot ready!

Something Better

Perhaps there is another way for me to find my fame and fortune than just sitting in my recliner here in Knoxville Tennessee waiting to be discovered as a great actor/star. I just saw where there is a Price is Right primetime special on at this very moment. I could so kick some serious butt on a game show that asked trivia questions. TV, movies, sports, general, it doesn't matter, I know useless information. All I need is to find a way to get on a show where I could show the world all the info in my elephant brain. See therein lies the problem, I can't even afford to get to NYC or LA to audition to even be on a Damn GAME SHOW.

So for now, I'll just keep sittin in the recliner waiting to be discovered. If the right person reads this, --- just think --- you could be the one who found the next SUPERSTAR.

Saturday the 9th of April

Nanna and Pop took the boys to Dollywood today, so I'm hoping they will be gone for a while. That doesn't sound right but what I mean is -- I am enjoying the peace and quiet.

After they boys left, we went to get our taxes done which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. When I got home I watched "The Uninvited" on TCM. It was a very enjoyable movie, I'm sure a lot of the people in this day and age wouldn't enjoy it though. I love old movies and it's great watching them on TCM because they have NO commercials.

I done a few loads of laundry, made some lemon bars (from a mix, of course) and am now getting ready to watch "The Saint" on TV. I love watching Val Kilmer movies. Maybe I have this thing for guys that have played Batman in the movies. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Gotta go, Val awaits.

Hey George

I need to get in contact with George Clooney. I just saw a show on E about Southern stars and they were talking about George Clooney. They kept talking about how all the women loved him and all the guys wanted to be like him. I'm thinking that he could help get my career in show business started. I could hang out with him and people would take notice and wonder who the fat guy is hanging out with George Clooney.

So George, give me a call or send an email, that's probably the best way to get in touch with me. If you called, the phone number would come up "out of area", or "unknown number" and I wouldn't answer it for fear of bill collectors.

Take me under your wing George, I want to learn. I could be your apprentice, but let's call it attache or protege, so as not to upset Donald Trump.

Celebrities

I recently read an article that talked about the perks of celebrities. It seems at all of these award shows, the presenter or winners or everybody gets a goodie bag. These are not the goodies bags with some candy and a pencil or two, no these goodie bags are worth usually in excess of 10 thousand dollars plus. They always include the hottest electronic equipment going, so the Academy Awards goodie bag included a PSP. For the electronically challenged that stands for PlayStation Portable. It is the latest and greatest handheld video game system and of course both of my boys want them. My boys don't have them yet because they cost around $300 right now, yet the rich and famous, who could afford them, get a freebie.

The rich do indeed get richer!

I would like to ask for suggestions on how I can become one of the rich and famous. You help get me there and I will bring you along for the ride. I've always been told that I'm a funny guy so I'm thinking I should get my start in a movie. Benny Hill co-starring in a comedy-adventure movie with, well, whoever! I would make all the talk show rounds to hype the new movie and I would be nice to the papparazzi and smile when all are clamoring to take my picture. After the first movie and my unique and superb performance, I am sure the offers would start flooding in. Between movies, I would throw in a guest appearance or two on a few TV shows. I've never seen it but I believe I would guest on an episode of Two and a Half Men and then we would move forward from there.

I figure by the time of the next Oscars telecast, I will have an invite and score a PSP or by then it may be the PSP2.

I am ready for my close-up.

Tradition

I LOVE watching the NCAA basketball tournament. However, I long for the days when the tourney was on ESPN. I got soooo tired of hearing, "A tradition unlike any other", when they would talk about the upcoming Masters golf tournament on CBS. I watch basketball, I would occasionally watch golf but now I will not because of the damn commercials.