George Clooney has a bad back

I just read where George Clooney could not promote his new film, Ocean's Twelve, this week because he has a ruptured disk. I've been working the past year at least with "several" bulging disks. After I had my 2nd attempt at an MRI, the doctor got the results and told me that I had several bulging disks. I wonder for sure if the correct spelling for this is disks or discs? I wonder what kind of sick days or insurance George Clooney has? I have sick days, but my boss will complain about something if I miss a day because of my back. The last time I missed because of my back I had an excuse from the doctor to be out all week. I had my wife call in and tell the boss lady about my illness and thought everything was fine. When I returned to work the first thing the boss told me was that when I was going to be out that "I" was the one who needed to call and tell her and find out if they needed me for anything. I was in soooo much pain that it even irritated me to talk on the phone. I have learned my lesson though, whenever I am out of work for any reason, I will be the one to call, even if they have to bring me out of coma.

Getting Close

OK it's getting close to Christmas and I still haven't heard back from my(THE) benefactor, Mr. Mark Cuban. If he could maybe just give me one days interest off of his billions, I think I would be set for a while. I've emailed him about the possibility of other reality shows. You know the new one, The Biggest Loser, that was my idea a few years ago. I just don't have the connections. My next proposal to Cuban will be along the line of the Apprentice. I will be Cuban's attache or protege'. I'm not sure but I think both of those words need the little ' at the end of them.

Boss lady is here at work today. She said she would be in if it was raining today. She was going Christmas shopping but didn't want to go in the rain. She has now decided to take Friday off, so at least I got that going for me. Well that and then that thing when I'm on my deathbed when the dali lama said I would understand all and reach total enlightenment. So I'm good on the death part. Right now, it's the living part that I'm having problems with. The wife just came by and said they still don't have the server up where she is working so she may have to go home and take another day off. This is really hurtin' the ole pocketbook, but there is nothing we can go about it. If the higher ups who have nothing to worry about in the finance department, could get their collective heads out of their asses maybe they would see that "us little folk" actually need a few hours of work in order to live and survive. Btw, Wife has an interview Wed. for a job. Let's all remember to say a little prayer and also keep the fingers and toes crossed. Anybody got any connections at Knology?

Back at Work

Well I enjoyed my loooong Thanksgiving weekend, I didn't do a damn thing. I sat on my sister's couch for 3 days straight and watched football. It was great! The wife stayed home on Saturday and cleaned the house, so I did feel a little guilty, but I'm sure I'll make up for it this coming weekend. Zack's birthday is this week, so we will have the family over for cake and ice cream on Sunday, which means alot of cleaning on Saturday.

I took the dog to my sister's house on Friday, for a little vacation, for us and him. The boys are looking forward to his return but I would just like him to stay out there from now on. The dog has destroyed our house. He's sooo cute, but he gets into everything and I mean everything. I told you a few posts back where he had been chewing on a watch and a steak knife, it does not matter to him, he will chew on it.

The boss lady is out until Wednesday, so I've got that going for me. I still have to try and avoid the big boss lady today and tomorrow. Maybe I can just sit here and blog all day, at least I will look busy.

We still haven't started our Christmas shopping yet, when you don't have the money, I find it is hard to go shopping. We also have Zack's birthday on the 2nd, so we will have to buy for him first. Zack has decided all he wants for his birthday and Christmas is money so he can save it up and eventually buy himself a go-kart. Zack and I were looking at them yesterday on the internet and the ones he was wanting were around a thousand dollars. I don't know if he's been that good this year. He'll get his money for his b-day and Christmas but I'm sure he will find something else before he saves up a thousand dollars.

Scrapbooking

All you scrapbookers out there need to check out my wife Angi's website. She has a few interesting and unique items for sell. OK nevermind now all her auctions are over.

I don't know

I don't know for sure who my anonymous commenter is, but I have a few ideas. I think I saw you Monday at work and even spoke to you. Any other clues you would like to leave would be appreciated. If you do leave clues, make sure they are hard clues, don't just give it away. I have enjoyed not knowing.

More 80's

I am listening to Ratt right now singing Round and Round. How about anyone out there, put a comment on the blog about your favorite 80's group or song. I guess for me, I would have to say the Police and Hall and Oates. I was a huge H&0's fan back in the early 80's. I got to see them once in concert in Charleston WV back in 1983. I also saw the Police back in 83, they were here in Knoxville. I've seen Sting as a solo artist twice, the first time was around 85 when he had just gone solo and the next time was about 1996. I remember the Police concert very well, even though I had consumed a little alcohol. The Fixx were their special guest. I doubt anyone out there will remember them, but they are actually still around. Now I've got a little Huey Lewis and the News coming through on Sirius. I saw Huey in concert in Roanoke VA around 1984 or 85. Stevie Ray Vaughn was his special guest and I was really bummed out about that. I thought why him and that I didn't want to hear his music, now I am a big SRV fan and I wish I had paid more attention to him when he was still around. By the way, Huey just went off and I am listening to an actual DJ, it is Mark Goodman from MTV fame. He was one of the original VJ's on MTV. I also had a big crush on Martha Quinn, I still remember her as a young cutie that I was in love with. I just found out she is now 45 years old, but still as cute as ever. Better go the boss is around.

Child of the 80's

I guess I am a child of the 80's like an anonymous comment ask me earlier this week. I am sitting here right now listening to the big 80's channel on Sirius radio. I recommend Sirius radio to everyone, if you can afford it which I cannot. I am listening on a trial subscription that a friend of mine told me about. And yes, I do have a few friends. I actually consider most of the people I work with to be my friends. I guess if any of the people I work with were on fire, I would try to put them out. Well almost any of them, there are a few I might think about especially if no one else was around. I keed, I keed.

So I was watching CSI last night and there was a woman who was a nutrionist who would get her protein from eating the body parts of the people she killed. She would cut out the liver, heart, and the spleen, then dry them and grind them into a powder and make a protein shake out of it. I've never really thought all that much about eating another person, especially the liver, unless of course it was breaded at Kentucky Fried Chicken and then deep-fried. They do make a good liver dinner. Gotta go for now. Be sure and tell all your friends about my blog. I have yet to get rich off of this, but I remain confident.

The Latest

Ok, here's the latest on the life of Benny, (me). Last night I had a therapy session because of my sciatic nerve problem in my hip. I don't feel as sore as I thought I would today. I was put on a treadmill with a huge harness on me that lifted 60 lbs. off of my frame. I was walking like a new man. I wish the device could make it permanent and I wouldn't have to diet or exercise or any of those other dirty words. When I got home Zack wanted some help with math definitions. I tried to help but Zack was in one of those moods when everything pisses him off. So I left him the computer up on dictionary.com and told him I was going to eat supper. I was in the process of eating 2 bologna sandwiches, when Trevor says, "is that all you're going to eat". I told yeah, I like bologna. He thought it was awful that I was HAVING to eat bologna. I tell ya kids today just don't know what good food is. The only thing I wish I had done differently is to have fried the bologna.

After all that excitement is was Law and Order and then an episode of MASH and then sleep. Of course while trying to enjoy L&O, Trevor was constantly asking questions about his homework. Don't get me wrong I don't mind helping with homework, but he was asking easy questions that he knew the answer to but was too lazy to think about it or work it out. This is a 7th grader who asked me what 10 X 25 was. He is a very intelligent young man that can be very lazy at times.

Had to leave for a few minutes, the big boss lady came in and I had to ask her a few questions. Well better go for now, I have to look busy the woman in the office next to me is here today and she will let my boss know if I do anything wrong or just don't do anything.

I'm ready for some Football

Here is my two cents worth on the BCS and who should be playing for the national championship. I think the 2 teams who deserve to play and are the best 2 teams in the country right now are Auburn and Oklahoma. Even though USC is ranked #1, in my opinion either AU or OU could beat them right now and I think they would beat USC pretty handily. I know that USC ended last year at #1 and started this year at #1, but if you look at the body of work all three teams have done this year, I think it shows clearly that Auburn and Oklahoma are the 2 best teams in the country.

Onto the SEC, which Tennessee will end up winning the East division and have to play Auburn again. UT is going to get blown out (again) by Auburn in the SEC championship game and we will be back in the Outback or Gator bowl again and again and again. I was also thinking of a little redesigned SEC. I think the conference should get rid of Vanderbilt, I think Vandy would do very well as an independent, since they are never competitive in SEC football, though they do have a decent basketball team. We replace Vandy with West Virginia, who had gotten left in the Big East after the good schools left for the ACC. West Virginia would fit in very nicely with the SEC, plus it would be an upgrade from Vanderbilt. Vandy would have no problem getting teams to play them every year, because every school likes to schedule a easy win game on their schedule. Ok, I've rambled long enough.

How?

Ok, I work for the state of Tennessee and my wife has a temp job with the state. How on earth are we supposed to get Trevor a Xbox and Zack a Nintendo DS? Both of the boys want video game systems for Christmas. By the way, I always type out Christmas instead of using the X, I think the X is a matter of disrespect. Anyway, T's Xbox is 149.99, then comes the games, Zack's DS is 149.99 and then the games are extra. Our next paychecks are what we are using for Christmas so we better get everything on that day or the money and the hopes and dreams of 2 young boys will be gone. I think we should be able to do it. The next paycheck goes to house payment and bills and then we will get 1 more check on December 22 to pick up any thing else we may need. I've already talked it over with my sister and brother-in-law so we don't have to exchange gifts with them. That's fine with me as long as my boys have a great Christmas, I couldn't care less if I get anything at all. That's really a true statement and unless you have kids you probably wouldn't understand, but it's a great feeling on Christmas watching your kids all excited and soooo happy, that's all that matters. My parents told me not to worry about getting them anything, but how can you not get your parents something for Christmas. Well better go now, just had some Christmas things on my mind.

Here I AM

OK, fame, celebrity, fortune, here I am waiting on you. I just read where Star Jones had this huge spectacular wedding and I was thinking that maybe people could throw a little of the love or money my way. I'm not asking for much, well it wouldn't be much for a millionaire or for that matter a billionaire. Are you listening Mark Cuban?? I keep seeing all these shows where people will do anything for money, I would do anything, why don't these people ask me to do some of that crap for cash?? I would eat pig testicles, goat eyes, and alot more disgusting stuff than that. I cannot think of something I wouldn't do, -- if the price is right. I've thought of contacting the government about me working for the CIA and being an assassin or something like that. I think I could kill a bad person for the right amount of money, I mean it's the government, it has to be legal RIGHT???

Sorry I've been gone for a while, I offended someone and I didn't mean to. I guess when I start writing something I forget that somebody actually does read this. Well let me just say that I never meant to cause you any sorrow, I never meant to cause you any pain, I only wanted to see you in the purple rain. Better go, it's almost time to get ready to get ready for lunch.

I am back

I've come back to let you know that
I can really shake it down.

Farmer's Pet

FARMER'S PET

AN OLD FARMER WENT TO TOWN TO SEE A MOVIE.


THE TICKET AGENT ASKED, "SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?"


THE OLD FARMER SAID, "THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER CHUCKY. WHEREVER I GO,  CHUCKY GOES."


I AM SORRY SIR," SAID THE TICKET AGENT. "WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER."


THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED THE BIRD DOWN HIS OVERALLS. HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET AND ENTERED THE THEATER.

HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE. THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM. THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCKY COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE.


"MARGE," WHISPERED MILDRED.

"WHAT?" SAID MARGE.


"I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT."


"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?" ASKED MARGE.


"HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT," WHISPERED MILDRED.


"WELL, DON'T WORRY A BOUT IT," SAID MARGE. "HELL, AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL"


"I THOUGHT SO TOO," SAID MILDRED, "BUT THIS ONE'S EATIN' MY POPCORN

Grandma's Boyfriend

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing
with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and
said,"Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom
and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me Company and make me
feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm really happy with the TV as my boyfriend."

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started
adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she
started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door,
and there stood Grandma's minister.

The minister said, "Hello, son, is your grandma home?"

The little boy replied, "Yeah, but she's in the bedroom bangin' her
boyfriend."

The minister fainted.