Time Machine

I had my doubts, but my friend Keith has a time machine that works. When he told me about it, I thought I would play along and get a laugh or 2. I am here to tell you that it works. He asked where and when would I like to go to, so I told him jokingly 1951 Korea. Smackdown in the middle of the Korean War. Next thing I know we are transported 54 years in the past to South Korea. I was imagining M*A*S*H, but what I got was death and destruction. I talked him into getting me out of 1951 very fast, but not before stopping in 1982 Big Stone Gap, Virginia. Damn, I sure was an idiot and to think all these years that I was sooo cool back then. Ten minutes later, we are back to present day Knoxville, Tennessee and I am asking Keith 10 questions at once. He told me how he came across the time machine, but I will not let that information out yet. He also offered me a chance to take someone of my choosing to any place in the world, at anytime in the Universe. I await your submissions, so that I may judge who will take my next adventure with me.

Hey?

If there is anybody out there, send me an email and I will send my home address so you can send me cash. I know that chances are extremely small that I will win the $111 million in the Powerball drawing on Saturday night, so just send the money to me. I'm tired of being clever, tired of being talented, so now I will just beg. It works very well for some people. I need money so I don't have to worry anymore. Why have a life if all you do is worry? Having anxiety attacks and being stressed out all the time is no way for anyone to live. Is life supposed to be like this??

LEAVE

Alright enough already, why don't we just leave the DAMNED country and let them kill themselves. The top story every day on CNN.com is about a bomb in Iraq. Hey, GW, lets pullout our troops and just go home. Piss on Iraq, if you need to invade somebody, why not go after North Korea now. The U.S. should have finished North Korea off when Colonel Potter wanted to, but NO we have to be peacekeepers of the world. Well unless they have OIL and then we can invade them and overthrow their governments. ENOUGH